L is for Learning to Love
by DubCliq
Summary: Shane has always kept everyone at a distance, knowing that if she never allowed them to get to know her, or care for her, they could never hurt her. But what happens when someone enters her life, sending her entire belief system into a tailspin? AU.
1. Long, Lazy Afternoon

**L is for Learning to Love**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters on the show, nor am I affiliated with any of them.

**Rating:** _PG-13_ for some language and sexual implications

**Author's Note:** This story is AU.

-----

**Long, Lazy Afternoon**

Shane McCutcheon was bored.

Only one person had made an appointment that afternoon, and that person had either lost her watch or had no decency to call and cancel, something that Shane hated the most about her job—if there were no appointments, she had absolutely nothing to do but bum around. She would have ditched an hour ago if only Chase hadn't gotten back early and told her to stay in case the client showed up later or there were any walk-ins—as if there would be any walk-ins with her luck that day. Then, he had to remind her that she had to be at the party tonight, which was enough to elicit another series of groans from the hairdresser.

It wasn't that the parties there were boring—in fact, they were anything but, but they just weren't a special thing when it came to Wax anymore. Chase threw one practically once or twice a week at least and they were mostly the same, with the same crowd ninety percent of the time—Shane had pretty much gone through most of the girls there, if you know what I mean. The only remaining ones were either straight or off-limits (girlfriends of her co-workers), which is why you can't really blame her lack of enthusiasm. But Chase had only been too eager to use the guilt card on her, and so there she was, without a choice but to go to the party, and to wait around until then.

And because of that, Shane had been lounging on the couch for the last three hours, mindlessly flipping through the channels, unable to find anything good to watch. It was about another fifteen minutes later when she turned off the television and tossed the remote to the side. Pissed off and not being able to think of anything else to do, she grabbed one of the skateboards lying around headed outside to blow off some steam.

\//\\//\\//\\//\

She bent her knees a little more, with her brows furrowed in concentration as she skated back and forth across the ramp, trying to shut out the world around her. She tried to skate a bit higher, closing her eyes for a brief moment as a small gush of wind blew by, combing her wild, uneven hair backwards.

"Hey."

A voice startled her out of her thoughts, causing her eyes to snap open in surprise. Without thinking, she turned around to see the owner of the voice, and, in the process of doing so, fell off the skateboard and landed on her butt.

"Ouch. Are you okay?"

"Great, just great," she mumbled, ignoring the slight hint of amusement in the stranger's voice, but she took the extended hand to help herself up anyway. She hastily brushed the dirt from the back of her jeans, wincing at the throbbing pain that was starting to spread and scowling at the thought of a bruise on that was undoubtedly forming. With an irritated sigh, she turned to look at the person, and her mood did a complete one-eighty.

Before she knew it, she was quirking an eyebrow appreciatively at the sight in front of her, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips as the person's—the woman's—features registered in her eyes. The woman, most probably of Spanish descent, stood just a few inches shorter than her, with a petite frame, tanned skin, perfect curves, and most importantly, the most alluring smile Shane had ever laid eyes on—shy, yet seductive.

_Not bad. Not bad at all._

"Are you okay?" the woman finally asked, breaking the brief silence that had formed earlier. A small blush began to form on her cheeks as she noticed Shane's gaze on her, and she averted her gaze downwards. Upon looking down to see that they hadn't let go of each other's hand, she turned an even deeper shade of red, but she kept her hold on it nevertheless. Shane felt her trademark smirk making its way across her face.

"So… can I help you?" she asked nonchalantly, stuffing her free hand into her jacket pocket.

"Wh-what?" came a breathless response as both women continued to engage themselves in a staring match. Shane shrugged and rephrased her earlier question.

"I don't know. You don't look like a skater, so… do you need your hair done or something?"

"Oh, you must be Shane," the woman replied as her face lit up in realization, a bright smile gracing her face. Shane, whose confident demeanor was abruptly replaced with confusion, stared blankly at her.

_Fuck, how does she know my name? I didn't already sleep with—no, I couldn't have. Well, it's possible, of course, but then she just realized who I was… so that can't be it._

The woman took her silence as a cue to keep talking.

"You're the new hairdresser, right? Chase told me to look for you if he wasn't back by the time I got here. I'm the DJ for tonight's party… I just need to make sure you have all the right equipment."

_You bet I have the right equipment—no, shut up. Okay, so I've never met her before… but she's definitely interested. Well, at least she looks interested. Just tell her Chase isn't around and you can find out for yourself._

"Actually, Chase is—"

"Hey, you're here!"

Both women turned to see Chase jogging towards them.

_Asshole._

Shane glared at her friend, mentally calling him all the worst names she could possibly think of as the woman quickly let go of her hand and stepped aside to let herself be hugged.

_Great, leave it to Chase to salt my game—not that he'd be interested in the girl, or any girl, but he just HAD to walk out right now, didn't he? After all, he's responsible for such a great day I'm having, so why not make it even better?_

After what felt like eternity, Chase released her, and they began to chat away, momentarily forgetting about Shane, who was standing there, feeling a bit out of place. She was about to turn around and leave when she heard her name being mentioned.

"…Shane will be here if you need anything, you know where everything is. I have a few more errands to run, so I'll see you later, right?"

He hugged the woman again and turned around to walk away, but not before winking noticeably at Shane and wiggling his eyebrows at her. Shane rolled her eyes and turned to the woman, who was now making her way inside. Then, a sudden realization hit her, and she called out to the woman.

"Hey… I didn't get your name." The woman turned and grinned at her cheekily.

"I didn't give it," she teased. Shane raised her eyebrows at the clichéd answer, and the woman shrugged her shoulders.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," she admitted, and Shane gave another shrug in response.

"So, you gonna tell me, or what?"

"Maybe."

And with that, she turned back and resumed walking, her hips swaying a little more visibly than before, stopping only once more to look back at her.

"You coming?"

Suddenly unable to think of a witty response, Shane had no choice but to nod and follow the woman inside.

\//\\//\\//\\//\

"So, what do you do when you're not cutting hair?"

"Uhmmm… I don't know, not much… hang out?" Shane replied, stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets and leaning against the wall, watching the woman in front of her. "What do you do when you're not working?"

"Well, I deejay at nights… and during the daytime I'm a PA, so I'm usually off running errands… other than that, not much, too," she replied absent-mindedly, pressing a set of earphones against one ear.

"Wow, you lead a busy life."

The woman shrugged and continued what testing out the equipment.

"So… why do you need to work two jobs?" Shane continued.

The woman put down the earphones and paused, as if thinking about the question.

"Well, other than the fact that I have rent to pay for… I love being a DJ, but it's not exactly what you call a 'stable job'. Some days you get gigs, and some days, you don't. I do get more now, but my day job's not so bad. I got it a year ago when I was having an 'off-month'… well; couple of months, actually, and my boss has been really great so I guess I just never left. I guess things are starting to look up now, I mean, Chase helped me get a couple of gigs, and I guess I must have done a pretty good job because I was called back for other parties and—sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I? It's just something I do when I'm nervous."

Shane found herself smirking again at the last line.

"So I make you nervous?" She asked innocently, looking intently into the woman's eyes.

The woman blushed again, staring back at her as her hands blindly reached for the earphones once more. After a few attempts which led her to grabbing nothing but air, she tore her gaze away and looked down, finally grabbing the earphones.

"Fuck you," she mumbled, unconsciously playing with the earphones.

"Okay," the hairdresser replied with a confident shrug as the woman looked up at her again, "if you want."

The woman raised her eyebrows curiously, and for a moment Shane panicked, wondering if she had misread the signs.

_Fuck, she's not… straight, is she? I'm gonna kill Chase—_

Then she noticed that smile starting to play across the woman's lips again, the one she saw when they first locked eyes earlier, the one that was enough to send her into a small daze as she watched the woman drop her earphones and walk over to her. The next thing she knew, there was a hand on her left hip, slightly tugging her forward, and she watched as the woman's other hand traveled up to play with her short locks of unruly hair for a bit before resting on her neck. Then, the woman leaned forward, gently pulling her down so she could whisper in her ear.

"Oh, believe me, I do want to fuck you," she murmured, and she moved back to grin at her for a quick second, all traces of shyness suddenly erased from her features. Before Shane had a chance to react or look surprised, she felt herself being pulled forward roughly as a set of lips crashed into hers.

\//\\//\\//\\//\

Shane felt a small smile tugging at her lips as she watched the woman in front of her frantically looking for her last missing item of clothing. She crossed her arms, her eyes wandering down to the woman's bare backside as she bent down to pick up her bra. Sensing her gaze, the woman turned around and grinned at her, walking over to her and drawing her in for another kiss, but just as Shane began to respond to it, the woman pulled back, leaning towards her ear again, as if to tell her another secret.

"Carmen de la pica Morales," she whispered, her voice sending a shiver down the taller woman's spine, "I'll see you at the party later."

And with a wink and a gentle squeeze of her hand, the woman walked away to get dressed, leaving a stunned Shane staring at the place where she was standing just a few seconds ago.

When she finally snapped out of it, Shane realized that there was something in her hand. She looked down to find the article of clothing that the woman must have placed in her hand when she squeezed it, and with a small smile to herself, she stuffed it in her pocket.

_Carmen._

All of a sudden Shane found herself looking forward to the party that night.


	2. Lust and Propositions

**L is for Learning to Love**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters on the show, nor am I affiliated with any of them.

**Rating:** _PG-13_ for some language and sexual implications

**Author's Note:** This story is AU.

-----

**Lust and Propositions**

Shane stepped outside, lighting a cigarette before taking a long drag from it.

_This wasn't supposed to happen._

The party had a great turnout; there were many new faces that had shown up. Any other night she would have happily picked one from the bunch to take home.

_But not tonight._

No, tonight, she had to sit by the bar, sipping her beer as she watched the deejay play song after song. Shane had to admit, she was good. No wonder the place had been packed.

_But that wasn't the point._ The point was, she had watched her the whole night, so mesmerized by her every move that she hadn't even taken a second glance at the others who had approached her—not even the one that had been shamelessly flirting with and obviously throwing herself at her. Just because her eyes had been fixed on that one Latina chick that had been on her mind the whole day (though she would probably never admit it to anyone—especially not Alice), the only girl that hadn't walked up to her or even looked at her. This had gone on until all of a sudden, she had found herself watching her gather up the equipment, and, upon the abrupt realization that the party was over, she quickly got up from her seat and headed outside to take a smoke.

Shane sighed in annoyance before flicking the cigarette onto the floor and grounding its butt with the heel of her Converses.

_This wasn't supposed to happen. Why did I even show up in the first place, knowing that she'd be there?_

She mentally cursed at Chase for making her attend the party for the millionth time that night. But another voice popped into her head.

_You wanted to come. You wanted to see her._

_No, I didn't. I'm not looking for another Cherie Jaffe._

_Oh, so you do admit she's a potential Cherie Jaffe._

_No, I'm just saying—_

_She does have a better ass, don't you think? You have to admit, the tattoo is hot._

_Yes, she's hot. I met, I saw, I fucked. End of the story._

_Or is it?_

_God damn it. I'm not going to stand here arguing with myself._

"Hey."

Shane snapped her head around at the voice, looking like a deer caught in headlights, silently berating herself for sticking around.

_You wanted to stick around._

_Shut up._

"Hey," she replied, trying to sound nonchalant. She dug her hands into her jeans pockets.

"Chase told me to tell you that he'll close up. You can go now."

"Oh. Right. Okay." She nodded and turned to leave.

"You were watching me." Shane stopped dead in her tracks.

"Excuse me?" she asked, turning around to face her again.

"I saw you."

"Yeah, well, you did a good job tonight."

"I think I did a better job today."

"Excuse me?" Shane began to tense up as Carmen took a step closer and gently ran a finger down her tie, a small smile playing on her lips. "Look, I don't know if Chase told you anything about me, but I—"

"Don't do relationships, right?"

Shane brought a hand to the back of her head, lightly tugging on a short tuft of hair. She figured it was safer to just keep quiet.

"He did."

She remained silent, giving the other girl a brief nod, unsure of where the conversation was really going.

_Just turn around and leave._

_Or, you could grab her and fuck the life out of her right on the spot._

_God damn, just shut up and leave me—_

"But that doesn't mean we can't fuck." The voice immediately brought her out of her thoughts.

"What?"

Carmen smirked at her, amused at the confusion etched all over her face. She wrapped her arms around the neck of the lanky girl and leaned forward, giving her a slow, seductive kiss. She pulled away just as she felt the other pair of lips begin to kiss her back, grinning as she witnessed a slight tinge of annoyance.

"Look," the shorter girl began, "I just got out of a long relationship, and for the first time in my life, I'd like not to dwell so much on the what ifs and what might happens. I wanted you, you wanted me. But I still want you and I know you still want me too. Who says we have to be in a relationship to fuck more than once?"

She watched Shane raise her eyebrow, and for a split second she was afraid she had misread her. But she tried to reassure herself that the fact that Shane was still standing there was a good sign.

Shane watched her for a few seconds, contemplating what had just happened. It seemed harmless; in fact, it seemed almost too good to be true, an answer the all the dilemmas she had been struggling with all night.

_Don't be stupid._

_Oh come on, you know you want it. You want Carmen. You want her so bad right now._

_I'm sure I can pick up another girl at a bar nearby._

_I'm sure you can. But she wouldn't be Carmen, and you want Carmen right now, don't you?_

_Fuck, get out of my head before I lose my mind._

Carmen watched the other girl fight an internal battle with herself, wondering how hard her life must have been to have trust issues like this and if she should just make the decision easier for her and walk away.

"Did you drive here?" Shane must have found her voice.

"Uhmm… no," she responded, startled by the question.

"Mine's parked in the garage. Your place or mine?"

Carmen smiled.

"Yours."

\//\\//\\//\\//\

Shane lay wide awake, watching her sleep, resisting the urge to touch her caramel skin and trace circles or any other shapes on it.

She's different from other girls, Shane knew, but she couldn't pinpoint exactly how she was different just yet.

Shane didn't like mystery; she liked things simple and straight to the point. The names or histories of the girls she's been with before weren't mysteries; she just didn't bother to learn them. But this girl—Carmen—she had just waltzed in (looking like that, Shane couldn't help but add) with an offer she couldn't turn down. She couldn't fathom what the big deal was. It was simple. It was straight to the point. They weren't together. They were just two people who had sex. Together. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing out-of-the-ordinary. People do that all the time. Hell, she did that. Just with different girls. Why should this be any different? It's the same, noncommittal, no-strings-attached kind of "arrangement". Who knows, maybe things would just end like this. Maybe she would go to sleep and wake up to find Carmen gone, and things would go back to the way they were—not that anything was any different now, of course.

_Nope. Everything is fine. All is well._

Shane groaned and turned over, trying to get some sleep and shut out the multitude of thoughts that were jammed up in her brain.

And the worst part, she thought to herself as she fell asleep, was that she couldn't tell if she had been relieved or disappointed that Carmen hadn't wanted more.


	3. Late and Ticked Off

**L is for Learning to Love**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters on the show, nor am I affiliated with any of them.

**Rating:** _PG-13_ for some language and sexual implications

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the lack of updates. Things have been very hectic the past few months, and I'm pretty sure they'll only worsen in the next few. I'm just writing this story as I go, but I do have a few ideas where I want this story to go. PM or comment if you have any ideas you'd like to put in or if you would like to co-write this story.

--

**Late and Ticked Off**

_Crunch._

Shane bit into the apple, glaring at it. It was the only thing Alice would give her when she showed up at her friend's door that morning to find her running late.

"I'll be done in a minute!" A muffled reply came from behind the door.

"You said that half an hour ago, Al! Bette called. She's getting impatient. Tina and Dana are there too."

"She's always impatient. It's Bette! Tina and Dana don't care. I mean, Tina has Bette, and Dana's probably ogling at Lara at work… Besides, I bet Helena's late too."

"Not the point. Just hurry up!"

"Alright, alright, I'm done," Alice huffed, stumbling out of her room as she tried to walk and put on her shoes at the same time, "what are you doing here so early, anyway? Doesn't it take you a while to get rid of the girl on your bed?"

Shane tightened her grip on the apple as she took another bite.

_Crunch._

"What, did you not have a girl last night? Come on, Shane. Spill—and add her to the web." Shane stared at the black marker shoved into her hand, then at web on her friend's wall, her eyes following the seemingly countless lines that were connected to her own name. "Forgot her name already? Or did you forget to ask again?"

"You're really getting on my nerves today, Al," was the response from the hairdresser.

"I was just joking. Geez, what got your panties in a—wait, you're really ticked off aren't you? What, was she not good enough? Did she not get you off?" Alice gasped. "Was she… a man?"

"What? NO! What the… Alice, shut up!" The annoyed brunette tossed the half-eaten apple into the garbage. "She's Mexican-American, okay? 5'3", brown skin, brown hair, brown eyes; personal assistant and part-time DJ; great smile, great ass. She was great, alright? Now get off my back!" She turned away from her surprised and now smirking companion.

"Oh my God, you like her!"

"What? I don't—"

"You SO like her! Why else would you have paid so much attention?"

"What are you, twelve? I don't—"

"What's her name?"

"Shut—"

"What's her name?" Shane groaned at her friend's persistence.

_Why won't you tell her?_

_Fuck, I thought I told you to go away._

_I'm your voice of reason. I'm never going away._

_Fuck off._

_What's the big deal about telling her Carmen's name?_

_I just don't want to._

_Wow, that's real mature._

_I've already said too much. Alice is already giving me ass about noticing all those things._

_Why DID you notice? Hmmm?_

_She's hot!_

_Lots of girls are hot._

_Look, she's not important, okay?_

_Mmmhmm._

_Fuck. Fine, I'll tell her if that's so important to you._

_Go ahead._

_I will._

_Be my guest._

"Hello? Earth to Shane! What's her—"

"Madison," Shane felt herself suddenly call out.

_What the fuck. Who the hell is Madison?_

_Shut up._

_Dude, you're fucked up._

_Look, it's my business, alright?_

_Our business. Technically, I'm you._

"OOOOOH… LALALALA… Shane has a crush on Madison! Shane has a crush on—oh, can I call your girlfriend Maddie? Shane and Maddie, sitting on a—" The blonde teased, grabbing the marker from her friend's hand and drawing a new line next to Shane's name. She was about to make the newest addition when was interrupted by the phone ringing. "Oh shit. Bette's calling. Don't answer it!" She grinned, dropping the marker before disappearing out the door.

Shane let her eyes stray to the wall once again, her mind leading her back to the morning's events. She had woken up to an empty bed, but just as she was about to get up, she had found a note on the pillow beside her. Letting the curiosity get the best of her, she had read it right away.

_Hey.  
Had to leave. Thanks for last night. Maybe we can hang out again sometime.  
—Carmen_

_P.S. Chase has my number._

Shane shook her head and followed Alice outside. She was definitely going to give Chase a call today.


	4. Lounging at The Planet

**L is for Learning to Love**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters on the show, nor am I affiliated with any of them.

**Rating:** _PG-13_ for some language and sexual implications

**Author's Note:** Sorry again for the lack of updates, and if this one isn't as good as you expected. It's been a while, and I'm finding it really hard to get back into writing.

--

"Finally, what the hell took you guys so long?" Bette scowled as the two latecomers plopped down on the empty space beside her.

"Jeez, Bette. What's the big deal? So we're a few minutes late—"

"Al was late. I was waiting for her," grumbled the lanky hairdresser, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Yeah, yeah. Blame it all on me just because last night didn't turn out the way you wanted."

"What's wrong, Shane?" asked Tina as she leaned back against Bette.

"Nothing," came the irked reply, "just drop it."

"Was she not good enough?" Shane glared up at a grinning Dana, who had just made her way over with Lara and Helena.

"What makes you think I was even with someone last night?" she retorted, only to be met with a bunch of eyebrows raised, as if to say '_yeah, right'_. She stubbornly crossed her arms tighter against her chest. "Okay, fine. I was with a girl, as usual. Now can we talk about someone else? How's Angelica?" She turned to the little girl's mothers.

"Angelica's fine. So what was wrong with the girl last night?"

_Yeah, you thought you could just change the topic that easily. You should know how stubborn Bette can be by now. Smooth, real smooth._

_Shut. The. Fuck. Up. I thought I told you to back off._

_I'm the voice in your head. I'm never going away. Deal with it._

"Was she married?" The sudden question brought her out of her thoughts.

"Did she have a club face? You know, hot in the dark, but under the light, UGL—Oh my god, was she a dude?" Shane threw her hands up, looking at the group incredulously.

"Why the fuck does everyone think I did it with a guy?" She made a move to stand up, only to feel a comforting hand on her arm. She turned to meet Tina's sympathetic smile, and sat back down.

"Don't worry, you're the last person in the world we'd expect to turn straight on us," replied Lara, "It's just, you never know these days. Even you could be tricked into—"

"Hey guys, give her a break. If she doesn't want to talk about it, leave her alone." Shane shot Tina a grateful smile, feeling her tense shoulders—which she didn't even notice were tense until then—relax.

The group sat in an awkward silence, those who had been there for a while stirring their cups of coffee.

"Uhmm, I should get back to work," Lara began, breaking the silence, "Kit will be on my as—"

"Kit is already used to your 'breaks' whenever Dana is around," a voice interrupted, signaling the entrance of the café's owner into the conversation.

A murmur of hellos ran amongst the group of friends as Kit took a seat next to Dana.

"This is by far the longest day ever," she said, fanning her face with her hand, "The deejay for tonight quit on me last minute. Something about a gambling debt and some people being after him. Asshole."

"Oh, what are you going to do for tonight, then? Do you need help hiring a new deejay?" Shane couldn't help but ask.

_Yeah, because you know a bunch of them._

_Well, I know—_

_Don't. Even. Go. There._

_What? I'm sure she won't mind. She's a professional deejay. What's the problem?_

_You don't even know if she's free._

_You won't know until you ask._

_No, you've already seen her more than you should. Let's just leave it at that._

_But—_

"—listening? Shane?" She snapped out of her thoughts, bringing her focus back into the conversation.

"Sorry, what?"

"Damn, you alright? I was just saying that I didn't need help. Luckily, I was able to book another one. I listened to her, and she's pretty good. After all, she was recommended by Russel Simmons. She's at the back, checking the equipment…"

But once again, Shane was no longer listening. Her eyes had traveled to the back of the room, where she spied a woman bent down, looking for something in her bag. The back of her shirt rode up a bit, exposing the beginnings of an all-too-familiar Mayan tattoo on her hips.

Suddenly, as if sensing a pair of eyes on her, the woman stood up straight and turned around, and Shane found herself staring into the same pair of eyes that she had spent most of her day trying to forget.


End file.
